Following a divorce, your children may have complex feelings about their parents. It is normal for children to critique you. They may be angry or hurt by the breakup. However, when alienation occurs, your children will unjustly criticize you.
Web MD describes parental alienation as children identifying with one parent and rejecting the other.
Your children criticize you but defend their other parent
Odds are they will never have good things to say about you. In fact, if they do have fun with you, they may ask you not to tell their other parent. Sometimes the criticisms will be severe and with no justification. You may hear your children repeat things they shouldn’t know that they heard from the other parent.
Despite critiquing you, you will not hear them critique the alienating parent. They will always deny the other parent influenced them and will have good things to say about him or her.
Your children will not show guilt
Victims of parental alienation do not show guilt for their feelings. When children become mad at their parents, they may yell at them or say mean things but apologize later when they feel bad. Children have difficulty regulating their emotions and so after a divorce, kids may say things out of anger. However, with alienation, kids do not feel bad for what they say. They feel justified in how they treat you.
In severe cases of alienation, your children may not want to have any contact with you. In these cases, a counselor or an order of removal from the other parent may be necessary.
